This life in AZ

How Do I Live Let Me Count the Ways

2011-10-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

My thoughts in March 2008

It is the family and friends who are missing from my life or whose relationships with me have changed, that I've been thinking about lately. These changes and other things that the Father is doing are really causing me to think, pray, read, search, and write. Sometime I also choose to run. By run I mean try to forget, not think, something so I don't have to feel the hurt. Sometimes when the potter shapes the clay it hurts, well it does when the clay (a.k.a. human being) is alive. How alive are you??

Alomst everyone has used coping mechaisms to get through their life. Drugs, alcolhol, TV, books, fantasty, porn, lust, sports, music. These things we use to cope can become our God. His word says that idoltry. One person may use romance novels to cope another may use drugs. According to the world, the drugs are illegal, but not the romance novels. According to God, both are wrong.

My thoughts in October of 2011

As I look back at what I wrote in 2008 and reflect on the events of the last 3 and 1/2 years, I have new thoughts to share. Books, TV, sports, music, and movies (that edify you) in moderation are fine. We all need a break. But when we take break after break and it turns into hiding, that is a different story. Hiding, checking out, addiction, running - we use this type of behavior to block things out out. Those things could be hurt, pain, emotions etc..

Over the last three years I've come to understand my own battle with the behavior I call hiding or checking-out. The Lord has shown me where this behavior pattern started and how to begin breaking the cycle. For me, it had to do with being overwhelmed be tasks, people, and emotions. When I couldn't process certain events or emotions, I would hide.

I've gotten better. Do I still struggle? Yes. Are there times when I realize I am hiding and I must STOP, TURN, and RUN into HIS ARMS? Yes. Are there times when I want to hide and instead I choose to run to GOD with it? Oh, Yeah! Praise God!

The bottom line is this: God is our creator and we must take everything to Him. Everything - tasks, relationships, emotions, hurt, fears. To use anything else to excess in order to cope with life is sin. Because we are not trusting Him.

I urge you today to trust Him-Yeshua (Jesus) your Savior with everything. Run into His Arms my friend. Cry if you need to. Let it go. Ask Him what to do. He faithfull to answer. Yes, it is not a quick fix. It will be a process as He shows you how to come to Him rather than your old way of doing things. Blessings on your journey.

Romans 12:2 I Corinthians 13:11 Ephesians 4:22-24

Almost Home - A Poem

2009-07-26T09:36:00.003-07:00

I am almost home
but I am not sure I want to be
Sitting in New York
awaiting a flight to Phoenix
very tired
challenged
prayful
trying to keep my to-do list at bay
for one more day
not sure where my heart is
which continent?
Still praying

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2009-07-14T21:25:00.002-07:00

Well, I leave Madison in the morning bound for New York. God has done much while I've been here in Wisconsin. I am sorry that I don't have time to write more. Here I thought I'd have all this time to blog. I am writing my adventures down though, so they may get published post-adventure.

I did get my phone replaced by the way - thank you insurance. My support for the mission trip is at 100%. That actually happened two days before I left Phoenix.

Prayer Requests:
Safe Travel
Health
Team Unity
Protection
That I would be the hands and feet of Yeshua, and His love for others would be poured out through me.

Musings

2009-06-17T10:00:00.003-07:00

June 17, 2009
We (Nana, I and a friend) our traveling east on I-40 towards the Petrified Forest in AZ. Nana wanted to see a few places in AZ before she leaves. Father has blessed us with an inexpensive place to stay - Indian Bible College in Flagstaff. Nana leaves Friday - two days. (I wish I knew how to put those little sad faces on here.)

Swaziland support is at 94%. Preparations are going well. The more I read the book It's Not Okay with Me by Janine Maxwell, the more I anticipate my trip and life for the children in Africa. I look at the things I have or think I want, and the abundance in our life. Often when spending money or buying something comes up, I think "Do I need this? - when some children in Swaziland don't even have a ______________________ (toilet, parent, schooling) - Fill in the blank.

Recently, I was going through some minor health tests, that were not major, but not made me nervous. I was praying about and thought how minor it was in comparison to some of the things going on in Africa. I was asking the Lord why some people have so much and some have so little. I was sitting there praying for healing of minor issues, when some people don't even have a place to go to the bathroom. Why Lord???? Answer: Sin and people not doing what I have called them to do. What I have asked them to do. Remember Jonah? Remember what it took? Has God asked you to do something for Him, whether big or small, and you haven't done it?

Are we being His hands and feet? Are we doing what the word says and looking after widows and orphans? Remember Jesus is the Word. If the Word doesn't grow hands and feet in the form of us as believers showing His love to others, then the Bible is just another theology book that we run around interpreting. God didn't write a theology book. He wrote instructions for living: Love me and love others be words and action. Have a relationship with me and tell others that they can too.

Africa Plus Update

2009-06-11T22:17:00.004-07:00

33 days to THE trip and counting..... Someone asked me to do updates on my trip. Well here you go....My support is now at 85%. PtL. I get my shots tomorrow morning. Oh goody. Actually I am very thankful. I do not need that many. I am still reading Janine Maxwell's book It's Not Okay with Me. (Janine Maxwell and her husband Ian are the co-presidents of Heart for Africa, the organiztion I am going with). What an eye opener. It's affecting the way I look at life, and I haven't even been gone on the trip yet.

I think I'll do updates on others things too. As you may know, between my roomate moving and the trip to Africa, it feels like many things are changing. Aren't you glad God is constant? I am.

Nana (my roomate's code name from Camp Maripa) is moving in a week. AHHHHHH! I don't know if that was her or me. Okay - truth - it may have been both. 10 days after she leaves, I leave Arizona to head for Wisconsin. Then I fly onto Africa and return to AZ at the end of July. Packing for a month and two different climates.

Prayer

*My packing and Nana's

*Nana is giving many things away and I am keeping some. Pray that I would adjust to change quickly and not worry about how to replace stuff. God can replace it when it is time and I can wait.

*Adjusting to living on my own in the coming months

*Traveling mercies

*Continued preparations for Africa

*My health - I am healthy. The enemy is just throwing up minorly annoying health stuff.

Praise

*Our friend eye is being healed - she almost went blind.

*I have a teaching job for next year.

*I have decided not to move at this time.

Finally - Africa

2009-06-11T22:13:00.003-07:00

I am finally going to Africa. I say finally, because, as you may know, I have been praying about when to go to Africa for awhile - eight years. I will be going on a short-terms mission trip to Swaziland July 16-26 with Heart for Africa.
Swaziland is a country on the eastern border of South Africa. Like many countries in Africa, it has been radically changed by AIDS. Approximately thirty percent of the adult population has HIV/AIDS. Most of the people dying of AIDS are in my generation. This leaves thousands of children without their parents. When grandparents or other family members cannot adequately take care of the orphaned children, they live on the streets, unless they are taken into an orphanage.
Heart for Africa is an organization that partners with orphanages in Africa and assists them until they become self-sufficient. I will be going to an orphanage in Swaziland called El Shaddi. This orphanage is almost self-sufficient. They care for about 50 children and have their own school. I will be working with the children, planting gardens, and working within the community.
If the Lord is leading you to partner with me by giving, you may donate to this trip directly to my account with Heart for Africa. Heart for Africa accepts donations by mail, internet, and phone. Donations must be received by June 18th.

Heart for Africa
P. O. Box 573
Alpharetta, GA 30009
1-800-901-7585
www.heartforafrica.org
My Trip Code - 7001483

A Rambling of Life Here

2008-03-09T16:32:00.005-07:00

Typical Sunday afternoon ~ trying to see how much I can do before Monday. The last week before spring break. Yes! Still not sure what I am doing for spring break other than reading, writing, cleaning, organizing, resting, crocheting, and hanging out with my friends. I think that is enough! My roomate and I were talking about going somewhere - we'll see.

Life here in AZ is good. The weather is warm. We didn't have to reset our clocks. (Although my parents did, which means they are now 2 hours ahead of me. Hence why any cell phone company that wants my business must at least have the option of starting nights at 7 p.m.) The 3rd quarter is almost over. I don't know if that's good or bad. AIMS is in a month. Although my kids don't seem ready. (Shhhh! Don't tell the bureaucrats, most times they're not. You just do the best you can and moooove on.) Can you tell I am from Wisconsin? Where, according to the saleslady at Bath and Body Works today, Brett Frave is the governor. Just realized that in the phrase, "most times they're not", I had written "their" to stand for "they are". And I'm the one trying to teach my 4th graders which their to use for what!!! Yes, today I am a rabbit, who cannot pick a trail. Gees, this paragraph is not even on topic. Okay, new paragraph.

Back to the point of the this rambling entry, if I can stop making dumb jokes. (To bad I don't have my sidekick, they might actually be funny.) Where was I? AIMS. It is coming too fast, but I'll be glad when it is over. Then the weight will be gone. I will stop feeling like I should push myself and my kids. I will stop saying, "On the AIMS..." (Just realized most folks reading this will not know that AIMS stand for Arizona's Instrument to Measure Standards. In other words, a state standardized test mandated by NCLB. (No Child Left Behind))

Enough about school, also coming up is my birthday - the day we come back from spring break, of all days. Enough said.

I guess when I stop to think about it life is better than good - I have a job, a home, a roommate, and a relationship with God through Yeshua. I have a church family that finally seems to be recovering from some rough times this past fall. I have my family (several states away, but let's not go there) and my friends. It's the family, friends, and relationship with Yeshua that are the focal point these days. As they should be.

God will Get the Glory

2008-03-01T18:41:00.003-07:00

Sorry I have not blogged in so long. The storms of life have been nipping at my heels. One of those storms was my grandmother's death at the end of January. (More on her in another post.) Through that and other events the Father has taught me much, which I will share as he leads. Today, an old journal entry is on my heart and it fits this season, which is interesting, since it was written 3 months ago.

You trust me because I love you, and I can and will heal and restore. I do not destroy, the devil does. I allow it because you live in a fallen world. I allow it - because it causes you to run to me, to grab on to me w/both hands. It grieves me when bad things happen to my children, but I am right there through the incident and through the hurt even when you don't realize it.
I will never leave you or forsake you says the Lord. Come unto me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.

It is all for my glory. When I heal and restore what the devil tries to steal, kill, and destroy, I get the glory. Everything (bad and good, pain and sorrow) works together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose. Everything! I get the Glory!, says the Lord.

Love and Trust

2007-12-21T21:18:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks have been amazing. Father has taught me so much. I want to share what I've learned. It's so awesome - praise God.

Over the years the Father has continuely revealed to me how much he loves me. (This is the story of what God showed me, but it applies to everyone. God loves each of us more than we can imagine and He wants a relationship with us.) Last Christmas, Father melted the wall around my heart and I begin to grasp his love for me much more than I had previously. Along with that I began to understand that since I know, not just in my head but in my heart, that God loves me I can trust Him. Yes, sometimes life is painful. Bad things do happen. Scriptures says that all things work together for good for those that are called according to his purpose.

This fall Father used some situtations and a book to reveal his love for me even more. My relationship with Him became even deeper and now.....SURPRISE......He is teaching me about trust.....AGAIN.

Here is what I've realized in this season:

Trust, pray, and let go.
Other people are not in control, no matter how much they think they are, God is in ultimate control
We must trust God to take care of our loved ones - family and friends - He loves them more than we do.
Sometimes you need to open your heart to what God is calling you do. Yes, opening your heart could bring pain....and joy.
God has not given us a spirit of fear....trust God ...... run to Him not from Him.
God is in control, not you, so stop trying to control the outcome.
It's not about you. It's about Him and the glory is His.
The world has said - you can't love others until you love yourself. What I've learned is you can love others when you are secure in God's love for you. Loving is a risk. We love because He first loved us.

My Thoughts in Short

2007-11-28T22:54:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those days and I've been looking forward to blogging tonight, but it is getting late. After I created this blog I was looking forward to writing about the wonderful, amazing, and sometimes stretching things that Father is doing in my life here in Arizona. I was thinking about writing about Thanksgiving, which I will do eventually. What I'd really wanted to write about tonight was bullying and how it affects kids long-term.

I've been dealing with bullying at work. I see the long-term affects it has on kids. I've seen and experienced the affects it has on adults who experienced it as children. Shortly put, it breaks my heart and makes me angry. Angry, because some adults don't get it. Some kids don't how to just, "ignore it" or "let it go." Frankly, they shouldn't have to ignore it - the bullying must STOP. And "let it go." Get real! A child or teen who has been excluded, laughed at, called names, needled, and mimicked by different groups of kids for 2-9 years should let it go????!!!?? Well, yes they need to for their own emotional health, but how? Someone needs to teach them how. Depending on many other factors in the child and their life they may not have the ability within themselves to ignore the messages that the bullying is sending to their emotional heart. And I see the gentle, beautiful, joyful hearts of kids being wounded repeatedly by peers, teachers, and family members. It breaks my heart. It breaks the Father's heart.

Father, show us what breaks your heart. Show us how to minister your love and grace to the broken-hearted adults and children we encounter daily. May you heal the broken-hearted. In Yeshua's (Jesus) name , AMEN

I'm blogging???

2007-11-27T03:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, first blog ever. Deciding to give it a shot, maybe it'll help keep up with folks in WI and elsewhere. This is interesting, but I'm actually supposed to grading papers. Well really I should be sleeping. Well, I've tried posting more later.